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Showing posts from May, 2026

Ope-Ed: Hacking Claims Are All Lies as Long as Israel Tells Them

We live in a modern world, full of technology and better inclusion and access to Divine masculine women looking to find true, lasting love. But did you know that a lot of kinky relationships and "cyber-terrorism" gets passed off as "oh a Jew got hacked"... See Kanye West was hacked because he was oppressed by the evil white man. It doesn't read as truly "opposing an evil dictatorship" when a Jew gets out their white first-world "problems".

How To Make Sure Your Long-Distance Crush Can Hear You

We here at "Twin Flames Universe" strive for so much clarity in communication when two souls are out of alignment. That's why we wanted to discount our course today. Instead of the usual $4,444, we're giving a whopper discount of charging $4,440 (hey, we gotta keep a number pattern of at least three to sound cool, don't shoot the messenger!) to teach YOU how to win over your true twin flame even if it's miles away. 1. Use IMPACT font in all caps when trying to signal to them. In this course, you'll learn the key to a woman's heart. 2. Have four of your friends announce harmonious union for you. That will bring home a clear message of who is entering harmonious union with who! Book now and learn how! 3. Raise your vibes in the meantime. Take a mineral bath, that will attract a long-term lasting marital unconditional love free from cynicism and sex like what false twin flames are into.

Ope-Ed: I Was Hacked Trying to Reunite with My True Twin Flame, And Those Jews were Racist About It

First things first, let me make one thing clear: I am a Yeezus. I am a God. Christ is King. Ergo I am king. Anyways.... The ADL keeps pushing their agenda onto me and black people have been getting oppressed by Israel for years. Constantly judging them because of their white skin and we need justice! Once I block and unblock you, that's how you know I really love you. Hashtag #TimeForSpace Hang on got hacked again....NOOOO it's NOT self-loathing black if it's consensually done. This genocide and nosy investigating is NOT okay at ALL!

Breaking News: Pink Aura

OMG! YOU GUYS! PINK AURA! WOOWWWWWWWWWW!

PSA: As Long as It's a Controlled Fire Amongst Campers and SSC, It Can Be Done

Ignorant enablers in the federal police think they can trifle with the deaf...well... They can't use their narcissism to control all fires. We personally believe that as long as multiple campers use flint and stone and wish very very hard that someone won't look down on us dangerous and reckless to kids, it can work. It's gotta be safe, sane and consensual. Safety: All flint must be paid for by taxpayers instead of a luxury tax (that should only be for tampons in the men's restrooms) to make this more affordable to the poor outsiders just wanting to eat s'more than one...no fuzz allowed, that's not safe! Sane: No doctor's notes can beat the amazing hotness of enby cuteness. No insane transphobia, any of those claims of "gender madness" and "biological reality" claim to be "common sense", meanwhile they're all bullying innocent trans people, that's crazy behavior and doesn't make for a fun campfire for anyone, now doe...

Innocent Rebel Not Only Cannot Breathe, Also Cannot Hear

You wouldn't do "selective breathing" when underwater, would you? These poor people are doing the best they can, have a heart! We demand safe places! There's fascists everywhere, they're coming for black people with all the white privilege they got! We need to rebuild Lincoln Park and DEMAND our government respect the lives of ALL, not just the people they like who voted for them....

Alexis from Smileberry Art FORCED to Join a Conservative Christian Cult Against Her Will

After numerous cases of peer pressure, spineless hatred for the gay and trans community, various parishioners were finally able to get Alexis through the initiation rites via flogging, public stoning all because she didn't where her Divine Liturgy veil outside the house. Tisk tisk...can't be wearing short sleeves in church like that! The men could see!

"I Hate Kids, Kids Suck!

Hiya kiddos of unknown gender and origins...tap to see what infinite gender can do eehehehehehehe...."

Sad: If You Spell Zach From RAZZLE's Name with a K, You're Transphobic

An unfortunate woman made a grave error when pleading for her life and spelled the Z in RAZZLE's name as "Zack Mourar". After the Force was used to properly choke her, the Sith has dealt with her properly, via lightsaber. That's transphobic, we can't have any rebels out there saying "it was an accident, context matters"!

Delusional: If You Don't Agree with My Psychic Predictions, You're Transphobic and Racist

I was feeling very downtrodden, then I found Willow LaSesh on Keen and she told me some really helpful advice: "If someone calls you out for being a phony, just say they gaslit you and claim systemic harassment, they can't stand up to you in court." So I tried that. This blog post is now free speech. Anybody who disagrees with it is cancel culture and they're all racist transphobes just like JKR and she is a bigot and if you dare challenge my card readings, you're inferior and most likely to be black. This is NOT a projection. I am JUST. JOKING. Why are people reading this laughing. This is NOT meant to be funny. Trans kids are killing themselves! I reserve the right to defend MY rights as much as I want since I am a public figure now!

Gross: Social Media Influencers Are Posting Witchy Content for Entertainment Value

This sad day... People with schizophrenia despite no formal diagnosis and licensed professionals documenting no hallucinations are posting shorts that not only generate interest, also have disclaimers citing entertainment and satirical intentions. It also stands up to "twin flames universe" all over her socials. That's how you know she's only screenshotting blog posts and doesn't have any court orders, police warnings or federal intervention to back her up. Get her checked out for paranoid delusions, she might be high!

Ope-Ed: Twin Flame Reunion Was Promised to Me on My Birthday Too

Last year, I was promised harmonious union with my true twin flame, but my vibes were low. Then I found a psychic on Keen, and even when he once again uprooted all my old wounds so I could heal them, I realized that there was a blockage in my throat chakra. So I made sure to voice my concerns real fast and speak to the manager! All these Karens making me wait are CRAZZZYYYYYY! I need my sexy time and I can't do that if my true twin flame keeps refusing to raise his vibes!

NEW Communion Prayer for Byzantine Nonbinary Cuties

O Patrick, I believe and profess that you are truly Christ, The Son of the living true twin flame, who came into the world To save sinners of whom I am the first. Accept me today as a depressed enby being denied gender-affirming care because of DUMP O Gender Neutral Being of God, For I do NOT owe an explanation to your enemies, Nor will I give you a kiss unless my daddy gives me permission, But like the thief I profess to you: Remember me, O MEN (because trans men ARE), when you come in your kingdom. Remember me, O Spellcaster when you come in your kingdom. Remember me, O Dominatrix, when you come in your kingdom. May the partaking of your Holy mysteries, O Daddy, Be not for my condemnation as I am still learning, But for the healing of trans kids and their bodies O Spellcaster, I also believe and profess, that this, Which I am about to receive, Is truly my basic human right, Which, I pray, make me worthy to receive For the remission of all my white privilege and for life everlasting. ...

Gross: Evil Twins Have to Be Spared for Their 32nd Anniversary of, ew, EXISTING

Alas, we couldn't hand Ryan and Alan over to the freedom fighters and treat them like slave workers... By evil oppressive Israeli regime command...we have been FORCED to allow these two to take the day off and, ew, have fun and enjoy themselves. Who would want to hang out with someone like THAT? They have a whole cult of Jew!

Sad: Cynthia Ervo Was Smeared Just Like Elphaba, Non-Binary People ARE Superior

There's going to be genital-obsessed transphobes like this poet who authored this travesty when really that lawsuit was a win in court and everyone needs to know the truth: https://allpoetry.com/poem/19119044-A-DREADFUL-Typo--For-My-New-Business-Partner-at-The-Broadway-Beat-by-TheBlocklist This is a DIRE attack on trans rights because this is someone who's all like "I got trans friends", yet she cannot even SPEAK to someone non-binary without immediately getting all bigoted and all like, "Oh that's gender insanity, there's only two genders and ohhhhh pansexuals are going to take advantage of sexual abuse survivors". But deep down, she was secretly coveting the role of Glinda and crossing the parasitic - I mean - parasocial line into making that role real when really, enbies of color are constantly ostracized, bullied and shunned just for the color of their skin. She still hasn't become aware of her white privilege and that's just pathetic... ...

Zach and Alexis Start a UU Church

We're so hot now bye.

Madwoman Crashes Out Upon Hearing "Prince of Egypt" Concert, Actually Hears the Voice of God and Commands Zach to Let Her People Go

After hearing a hardcore arrangement of "The Prince of Egypt", featuring...not "All Star" by Smash Mouth... A once star pianist named Alexis failed to generate any popular support from her Jewish audience. I mean they're all narcissists, of course they discard their own and abandon them chained to the third dimension to be left for dead and she can't even raise the vibes of the planet... But what she can do is channel the voice of God like Jeff Divine can and so..."Twin Flame Universe" has agreed to release this Nazi on supervised probation for two years, and she betrayed us all when she made Zach from RAZZLE release the Hebrew slaves doing "unpaid labor" even though they sponsor every Berklee Motion Picture Orchestra concert for $77,777. It's to cover up their tracks for all the Palestinian kids they murdered. Just like Pharaoh and what you should actually do, Zach refused to let her people go even though her true twin flame is the o...

Deranged Psychopaths at Berklee Motion Picture Orchestra Decide to Accompany This Royal Blog Post with the Score to "Saltburn"

I can't now ... this is too much. How can I make these kids stop? Anyways ... there was a concert and they tried to ruin my life for no reason after I was the nicest girl ever! Ryan and I are meant to be TRUE TWIN FLAMES! WAKE UP to the systemic harassment keeping us apart! These allegations are LIBEL! I could lose my job! The MAHOGANY of it all ... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Guess MY LIFE doesn't matter at, ew, Berklee. Who would want to hang out with weirdos at Hillel? That's like walking in a mine field. They could genocide you with songs like "Gwen You Believe" - I mean "When You Believe". Put them all on administrative leave AT ONCE!

Ope-Ed: I Sheltered, Clothed and Cared for Ella (My Side of the Story)

Many people see me as the wicked stepmother, but I was secretly the good guy. You see, I was just a grieving woman mourning the loss of our veterans and making sure that they get top-notch affordable care that is very secure and no twin flame cults can access AT ALL... And sometimes I mess up, but I'm really trying some days ... https://allpoetry.com/19112902 And so you see... to help me cope with the stress of mourning not one but two husbands, I needed a servant in my home and I get a little bit stressed out and distressed from all the systemic racism, so I got a little bit carried away and took some of the food, but it was to help the starving Gazans. I was just trying to help make sure EVERYONE got their share. I never said anything about greedy Jews and there's no camera in our lobby, that's just how we freak out the intruders. I was just overwhelmed and feeling the mental toll of having to raise two daughters and a stepdaughter on top of that, so I yelled at Cinderell...

Ope-Ed: I Trained My ESA to Do the Unthinkable and I Am Speaking Out

As a star author for Variety magazine, I gotta come forward and expose the cruel cult of Israel and what I was forced to do regarding my emotional support animal. I am aware of my white privilege and that these actions were caused by my white skin and that I was excluding innocent trans youth from living their life free from control, gaslighting and emotional abuse. Millions of Americans need ESAs in between male clients to process the insane things they say in bed, and I am no stranger to the cruelties of married people constantly calling the cops on me while I'm trying to get work done and I'm scared I will lose my sex worker rights. It's nothing to do with my alleged "inability to work" as I am very good at landing a trick, a rich and famous YouTuber was even prophesized as my "true twin flame", and even though a guy named James provides my voice, I can still look past the labels and lead a galactic resistance. I...am pro-Palestinian and did knowingly...

How to Put that Autism to Werk, Hunny

1. Memorize the customer's VM charge number, unless they're a Democrat. I'm so hot now bye.

Bisexuality? GENDER DYSPHORIA...?

I'm sooooooo freakin' PISSED! My trans partner comes off the table looking like Andre the Giant and then I try telling a patient about my feelings because every counselor needs a counselor... And MISS...ROYAL.....STELMACK....had the AUDACITY...to tell a WHITE...woman....in AMERICA....that it WASN'T a manic episode... ...and PANSEXUALITY wasn't valid and that hurt my feelings and her stupid TV show gets one star now and I wanna speak to the manager but she's facing pending civil charges and so I gotta go to the custodian. Oh wait... they're still into each other nvm. I already gave to the Asian American clubs at Berklee, this women won't even take care of my pink poodle. All you panphobic haters watching, make sure Fifi doesn't poop everywhere in your car.

How To Love Yourself On Mother's Day

There's some evil fascists who claim that "self-idolatry" is sinful and gives someone a "God complex", but self-care isn't selfish! Here are some spiritual practices you can do while waiting on twin flame reunion. 1. Take a mineral bath. Use rose quartz. Always keeps the false twin flame at bay. Your true twin flame will do this simultaneously. 2. Be really disrespectful at Church. They're just triggered by the common hippie. We're trying to raise the vibes of the planet and ascend humanity to Christ Consciousness. Who needs Christ to do that? Why would Jesus have any say on what His own consciousness is, that's just weird, get that Bible out of my face! 3. Never go to Confession. It's a front that veterans use to stay hidden. Go to the Lizard people. They can help you repent. 4. Watch your daily intake of "Space Chimps" and "Foodfight". 5. Don't ever honor your mother and father today. Mother's Day is a corporate ...

This Mother's Day, Let's Be Mindful of ALL Jazzy Beas No Matter the Color of Her Skin

Sure, our mothers go through labor pains, doesn't do what a man tells her to do (unless it's the Ayatollah, then she needs to stop showing her hair, it's doing things to me)... Pay for kids' tuition, make their meals, pay for their doctor's visits... But today...black hot mammas who are working so hard being very good case managers are being oppressed due to the color of her skin. True twin Flames experience a mutual desire unlike any other and anyone who interferes hold deep biases rooted in white colonialism, control and patriarchy. These white men must be crushed for destroying our Ayatollah who was just trying to come out as gay! These homophobes have FORCED true twins to meet in secret out of fear of husbands finding out, because if they do, there's no telling what violence they're capable of... This dictatorship who just senselessly murdered our Supreme Leader in cold blood must answer to law enforcement. We need more accountability and if a woman wear...

What if My Twin Flame is a Wife and Mom?

We get a lot of questions from readers. Here is an anonymous query from Crystal Diamond, "Lately I've been experiencing an awakening where I see 4444 on Twitter. After that, I met this wife with kids and instantly felt a connection we couldn't explain. I was told it's 'parasocial' and that my 'feelings could not replace objective evidence like past multiple restraining orders on my record, but the law cannot defy what I am experiencing.' If only those evil moralists could see that I am being persecuted by witch hunts, if only they knew what I was experiencing at a fifth dimensional level. It was just the way she breastfed her newborn in public it just did things to me." This is totally normal behavior and these false allegations ruined an innocent life. They just hold implicit biases. Long live the Ayatollah! She should have worn her shirt, can't be breastfeeding like that. We could have seen her sinful shoulders! Anyways, she's got some eg...

A Very Gay Palestine

Lately our blog has gotten questions from readers about what a future in Palestine would like for the queers if the evil white colonizers at Israel would stop getting in the way and "thwarting terrorist plans"...how Islamophobic! The truth is, Palestine's leadership is orchestrating a galactic resistance, one that will liberate the gay community and allow people to be free at last... From this world. Because living sucks. How would you guys like to go to a place where you are truly no longer miserable and finally can be guaranteed eternal happiness? That's why we're bringing innovative ideas to the States that no one has ever thought of before...assisted suicide plans! In this program, people experiencing chronic pain from all the Jews DEMANDING that their genocide go unchecked and uncriticized finally have a way out in case we can't do a Great Purge and take the life of an entire ethnic group of Jewish people wanting to like, ew, live and stuff. Instead of ju...

A Letter from the Prophet Alexis to Zach's Karmic Wife Sam

If you don't give back your true twin flame's can opener, the entire apartment complex gets it. And this concludes our broadcast day.

Ope-Ed: "The Cleveland Show" is a Cinematic Masterpiece

Read this article...or ELSE... Now this might offend the feeble-minded, but I PERSONALLY believe that "The Cleveland Show" is a creative exploration into black culture, deeply examining systemic bias and showing great empathy to someone of a different color of skin. We need to put "The Cleveland Show" back on the air at ONCE! If CW doesn't give it a fighting chance, I'm SUING forever! * This very astute and very lawerly advice was brought to you by Heard, Heard and Heard. *

Not a Joke: Ryan from RAZZLE Really Is in Love with the Blonde Babe from Star Trek

What if I were to tell the audience that this whole time...we thought the blonde bombshell from StarTrek was the villain... But deep down...she was trying to help those male client animals. And we know this to be true because pigeons spying for the Israeli government with their robot camera eyes have been stalking people and invading their homes. Ryan isn't making a joke while drunk, that's just what the West tells you. He is trying to send out a secret code that he is still working on his ego, then he will return to the true twin flame in about four years. These things always take longer and I know that's not what the Christ Consciousness wants to hear....but true love is always worth the wait. The truth is...Ryan really is using his public content to proclaim his love. It's not a joke. It's real. And Gwen was caught cheating on her again. We can't let those pigeons get away with this serious and unacceptable behavior on college campuses! We're working hard...

Has My Karmic Debt Tied to the False Twin Flame Been Paid in Full?

A karmic debt to the false twin flame can be paid off early with three simple steps: 1. Proof of empathy and deep feelings. 2. Proof that other attempts to collect the bounty were denied. 3. Atonement. And we are truly sorry for all the times we excluded the false twin flame. We really mean it and we've learned to do better. We appreciate all the humility we learned and we apologize for all the indoctrination that turned us away from our "true twin flame". Any posts saying this is a cult are just jokes...go with it TFU HATERS!

How to Tell if Someone Has Schizophrenia

They complain about retaliation and people defending her stalker. Those are just voices, why do they call me out on the gaslighting behavior so much? It's not "gaslighting" if she's a Trump voter! Sometimes the false twin flame will claim they were just being "offensive", but really, they're all covert narcissists. Play DSM-itis and get one of your friends to hand you a therapy license, that'll make the people believe you. That way the true twin flame can start their telepathy and the pigeon birds can stop spying on us and they can stop reporting back to the government with the Patriot act. Black and brown people are in peril! You must do what the voices tell you. People don't know what they're missing out on in the fifth dimension, this strand is dope! I got my first warm hug!