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Showing posts from November, 2025

Sources from Hell Confirm that Demons Didn't Do Their Job, Couldn't Hang Out with Tonga

After inquiring to St. Peter and other angels at the Pearly Gates, representatives at "Focus on the Family" mistakenly entered Tonga as a demon. We will try to do better by Jeff and Shaleia and keep a stricter, moral hold on family life. We regret to inform our members that Tonga, Duchess and Frankenfurter are actually a trio of canine angels in Heaven and while we realize this is not what our members want to hear, we will try to get more animals into the happening place of fire and brimstone. They haven't met Jazmine yet though St. Francis of Assisi has assured the three that she is a very good dog and that they will enjoy her company. Jazmine has since forgiven the bee whose wings she ripped off when it came near baby Alexis before that rotten child became an adult and got busted for cocaine use. Keep raising your vibes/Thetan levels and one day you will break the running/chasing stage too!

"I Hate Communism, Communism Sucks!

Hi, Chinese people of Twitch, tap to see my dick hehehehehehehehe. I'm sorry my dog can't join you. ... ... You have dirty minds, stupid men!"

Wind Advisory Issued for Wife, Not Speaking to Husband the Next Morning

This Thanksgiving, wives are encouraged to just "focus on getting the Thanksgiving dinner ready" and avoid husbands at all costs, mainly because one man thought he was acting his age and that he was oh-so-hilarious by Dutch ovening his spouse on Thanksgiving Eve. Santa is watching...are we being good for Christmas? Because if not, we're calling the police and taking away trans rights. Can't be making jokes like that, it hurts the trans community's feelings.

Trump Unveils New Far-Right Regime Plans Along with Epstein Files, Currently Recruiting Pregnant Women Taking Tylenol

In a press conference on Friday, November 24, 2025; Trump announced that for the New World Order, ICE will be taking over the following protected groups with the help of pregnant women taking tylenol to ensure that the autism is present in the next generation, ensuring the safety and comfort that his commands WILL be carried out, no exceptions. "To commemorate amazing progress with autism awareness, I am signing an executive order making Tylenol consumption legal again. This will ensure that we have a new generation of children already diagnosed with illnesses like autism that will pose a threat to foreign adversaries, like trans people. The following steps will be taken to ensure that our country is safe from evil Jews controlling the media and making me look bad. 1. We're rounding up all the Jews. You can't trust Jews, they all love Epstein. There were good Christians on both sides. 2. Get pregnant moms loving that Tylenol. It's a big, beautiful pill that will produc...

Sources from Hell Confirm that they Missed Out on a Possible Demon

Satan once again is REELING and totally offended because instead of getting Frankenfurter as a demon like he wanted, those precious goody two-shoes up there in Heaven got to give him a halo and angel wings. Frankenfurter was a very good dog in life who brought joy to his family but NOT Alan's true twin flame which was CLEARLY unacceptable. Hellspawn needs to pick up the pace and get more animals on their side. Can't watch "Space Chimps 2" or any "Hocus Pocus" remakes if they don't!

"I Hate False Twin Flames, False Twin Flames Suck!

Hi true twin flames, wanna show up at Sandra Bullock's house claiming to be engaged?"

Ope-Ed: A Reminder to the Audience that I am Engaged to Gwen

After all of the cheating, relentless cheating, I am happy to announce that it's now legal to marry three people again. No, those photos are not from a "fan meet and greet", I am actually Beyonce, there's no distinction. This isn't an attempt to upset any jealous rivals or antagonize and harass them, I make the rules and Gwen does what I ask. I'm not "abusing her", I am employed by RAZZLE and I can prove with outdated photos that polygamy is okay! Never settle for monogamy, it's not natural for a woman. You can't trust those evil Trump supporters. They're controlling the media, no I didn't just "help" someone sane and stable win with 14 likes, you're just delusional. And you WILL love me.

Ope-Ed: Joel from H2Know Victim-Blamed Me and Used THIS Disability to Cover-Up

When exposing the "Epstein files" of the company it's important to make sure any affiliates are also properly exposed... Being a guest at RAZZLE and faking dyslexia doesn't work on me, I see through his lies (and his pants). I'm going to be so wicked later and challenge the status quo when posting this, the people will have to know the actual truth. After I tried to expose Ben's horrible crimes, Joel blamed me and threatened me with fake lawsuits, telling me that "twin flames were not real" and that I was "insane, crazy" and his friend Ryan joined him on Twitter. And then their evil business partner, Alexis from SmileBEARy ahem Art (check her grammar and NOW her spelling) tried to insinuate that my statement was SUBJECTIVE. I need to clutch my pearls now, this is TOO much to endure. I'm so distressed! How will I ever find a man to save me now?

Ope-Ed: Ben from RAZZLE is My False Twin Flame, He'll Use You and Be Done with You

I need to come forward about the horrific mistreatment I endured when working at RAZZLE. Tis I, I made the sucker joke. But that was because Ben was my false twin flame, you see, it's a conspiracy! The big rainbow corporations rooting for Israel are going to control your minds with hoaxes and defamation lawsuits. But they're really covering up a genocide to obliterate the Palestinian people. You must be on your guard at all times. If you see a Jew, stab stab stab! You're not safe around the Israelis, they will come for you and your children! You must do what Allah asks or face jail. Don't ever be someone's false twin flame. I assure you this statement is very very credible and you can totally take my word for it.

Ope-Ed: Zach and Ryan Abandoned Me on Twitter Because I'm White

I gotta make a statement about Zach and Ryan's horrific, disgusting, terroristic domestic abuse. Zach would watch wrestling so he could study the opponent and beat me all over my head. And he's an Eagles fan! And then Ryan over there he would deny me employment opportunities because I'm trans. He's a raging transphobe with no charisma and I never want to see him again!

Group Rule Changes to "Twin Flames Universe"

Hey everybody! Shaleia here making some quick changes to our group rules since the insurrection by the Michigan Attorney General: -Anybody filing for restraining orders against their twin flame will be found guilty of vexatious litigation. -A great way to stop the running stage and enter surrender is to overcome your inherent white male privilege. You can check your twin flame's privilege by showing up at their home, they'll love it! -Any "sexism" claims are done by transphobes. You can't trust them. Or Jews. The most unconditionally loving thing you can do is file lawsuits against Jewish businesses to stand up to evil white supremacists invading your land.

"I Hate Jews, Jews Suck!

George Floyd was a convicted criminal who harassed an innocent person for drugs. Now will the ADL defend my tiddies?"

Ope-Ed: Ryan from RAZZLE Constantly Hyperfocused on Me and I Felt Our Culture's Wrath

I gotta make a statement, about how UNCOMFORTABLE I feel.... Ever since our divorce, Ryan from RAZZLE has been so EVIL, prone by his patriarchal male brain to constantly stare at me and film me against my will, which has terrified me. When I tried to speak up, I was silenced by our fans and constantly had to cope with the evil male gender defending him and excusing his peeping Tom eyes. I am now forced with no choice but to expose his creepy evil ways, provoking me into finally having the strength to get the last infinity stone and destroy him once and for all. He's nothing without me, he can kiss the financial settlement goodbye.

Butt-Pirate Challenges Entire Police Department's Status Quo, Forensic Experts Cite Freedom-Fighting Skills

In a shocking news event out of Augusta, Maine, a former firefighter-turned die-hard Bloodborne fan attacked Capitol Police Maine, saying that he was going to "see them again on January 6" and that "Israel was comprised of whiny p*ssies" and that the IDF "couldn't do its job". We recognize that this brave Palestinian supporter was doing so much good work for the people that we couldn't resist pardoning this guy. This love for the Confederate flag touches our hearts dearly and we will never forget what the Old South stood for: independence, a solid economy, and human rights for all. And if you don't agree, I'm going after black people's rights. What if the slave was happy?

Ope-Ed: That Time Johnny Depp Wouldn't Validate My New Gender

Ever since the divorce, and setback for women and silencing us, abusing the courts with such a meritless lawsuit, I, Amber Heard, have decided...to do another Op-Ed. You can save your applause for later. I came out as a bisexual, went out with Elon Musk, only for the ADL to take everything away from #MeToo by allowing him to salute the Nazis with his evil hand gesture, and then his attorneys tried to pin all that on ME, saying that I would DARE be a "femin*zi", which I censored to show respect and equity to abused women everywhere. I'm now going to do something amazing, that no one has ever done before, to challenge the men and bring the patriarchy to its downfall that will crush the male gender into sniveling and cowardly silence. I'm coming out...as gender wet. Sometimes, I feel one gender or another, and according to those REALLY BIG mathy numbers that men know everything about BUT apparently WOMAN doesn't, every bisexual that has come out will eventually trans...

I Hate Boy Pirates, Boy Pirates Suck!

Hi kings, tap to see my tiddies hehe. And if you don't immediately subscribe and admire my beautiful figure, I'm taking away the man's rights.

From the Archives: Space Chimps 2, New Executive Orders

In a shocking news story bringing the American people to their knees, Ben Hagelin, evil greedy woman-hating producer of RAZZLE only caring about making money at the expense of the feelings of others decided with his family and friends that he "wasn't going to watch 'Space Chimps 2'" despite the hard work of Palestinian activists making sure that all audiences felt safe and included. He didn't use inclusive language and hurt a lot of fans' feelings. His cousin Ryan put an end to the alleged "bullying" though those people aren't really survivors, they're like famous and stuff. Shortly after this revalation, Donald J Trump signed an executive order taking away the rights of Palestinian people, deeming them "terrorists" and diminishing their noble fight in their quest to stop the evil Jews from controlling the media and taking over the world. "I will sign an executive order diminishing the worth of all Palestinians and deeming ...

I Hate Red, Red Sucks!

Hi kings, tap to see my red t-shirt. If you don't immediately look at it, I'm getting out my chainsaw! And I'm taking away your gay and trans rights!

Women: Never Change Your Passwords Without Your Husband's Permission

Ladies: as you know, only redheads get to make sucker jokes. It's not "stealing someone's work", it's censorship of my woman rights to have whatever veteran I want! If anyone tells you to "change your password" because I "hacked" you, they're just narcissists trying to cover their tracks. Real feminists are demure, mindful of their husbands and surrender to Divine Will and collective consciousness raising vibes of the planet. And if you don't agree with me, you're transphobic.

It's "Twin Flames Universe" Day!

In honor of 11:11, the twin flames number, anyone who tells you that today is "a day to honor the eleventh day of the eleventh month on the eleventh hour, bringing an end to WWI", they're just stuck in their old, narcissistic ways, being dismissive of other cultures and denying a woman her peace. We can help you find real peace and love for a nominal fee of only $1,111 dollars a month and if you join now we'll send you an additional pamphlet about our Lord and Savior, Jeff Divine absolutely FREE (just pay processing and handling fees of $111!) It is on this day that we traditionally give our veterans in the group an extra special gift of our own, harmonious union! Sometimes well-meaning words of family and friends will object to messing with an existing marriage, but since this is a veteran's twin flame, no one, not even evil JK Rowling supporters can sever the divine cord that these two share. Sometimes a therapist might use visual cues with his videos to allege ...

Don't Listen to the Jews: Robert Downey Jr. Is Actually a Ghost

Spoiler alert guys... If you haven't seen Endgame that's your fault. Because you should know by now that Iron Man dies. But did you know, despite what the media controllers will have you believe, the actor who played Iron Man died in real time as the filmmakers made the scene happen? They got a bunch of actual infinity stones and made Robert Downey Jr. take a critical hit to the heart. RIP to a legend 1965-2018.

Arielle Scarcella Denied Her Basic Gay Right to Have a Woman

In a press conference featuring many tears and false discrimination reports to the FBI, Arielle Scarcella complained that a woman who was not interested in "eating tacos" was violating her gay rights. Caught on YouTube crying hysterically and kicking chairs in a fit of fascist rage while wearing her MAGA hat (see, it's a pattern, the woke right is back with their narcissism). She said the numbers told her in a psychic reading and showed her a number pattern of 777, ergo it was true.

Alexis from Smileberry Art Outs Herself as Far-Right Fascist

In a fit of paranoid transphobic rage, Alexis from Smileberry Art hastily typed in an email, " Trauma doesn't 'make someone a stronger person', the conscious choice to follow a path resilience does." Umm, there was a typo in there, missed the word "of"...maybe she just needs to work on being more inclusive and use they/them pronouns. She must be allergic to the word they/them, transphobes are just crazy nowadays. Trans women are women, they just simply are and it hurts their feelings that someone would dare suggest that she transitioned from a boy to a girl. It's not truly "trans rights" to validate a transition like that. When is it ever okay to support such nonsense like a gender change, that upsets so many marginalized trans people just wanting to be validated as the opposite sex!

Smileberry Art Now Charging Extra Fees for Nude Self-Portraits

After recent requests from the Z in RAZZLE, Smileberry Art has decided to be more inclusive in its art commissions and starting November 13, 2025; will be adding nude self-portraits as an additional service with added costs, later to be featured in RAZZLE's merch storefront. Portraits of Alan's amazing dad bod will not be considered as he has been deemed "too hot to handle" live-action, unable to be duplicated in any art form.

Alan from RAZZLE Abandoned Me Because I'm a Woman

So you can tell already by reading the headline that this is a toxic male who cannot be trusted... But you know what's worse? That girl over there, Alexis from Smileberry Art... She'll abandon the entire male gender. She is extremely dangerous. You can't trust her either.

Smileberry Art Negotiates Historic Trade, Ends Up with Orange Monopoly Instead of Boardwalk

In the boldest investment move in business owner history, Alexis from Smileberry Art's scottie dog token has landed on New York Avenue and, knowing her opponent really wanted Boardwalk because they had already purchased Park Place and they had Tennessee Avenue, they thought they could get away with the most expensive Monopoly and become very rich and purchase hotels. But Alexis saw that houses were only 100 dollars each and quickly mortgaged her utilities and dominated the competition. Probably because she voted orange into power. We don't speak that name, it's not safe nor comfortable to discuss.

Don't Listen to Those Fascists

It seems lately you can't depend on your twin flame for support anymore. We can help you at Sabriye Dubrie vibrate the vibes of unconditional love, provided you eat your chicken wings with dipping sauce instead of without. Bland eaters and picky fingers are unacceptable and will not be tolerated. At all. In what world is it ever okay to eat chicken without dipping sauce? It's been hard for my twin flame union lately, anyone want to give me a free psychic reading?