JK Rowling Caught Yeeting Aragog at Slytherin Park Guests

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A shocking bodycam footage was just released during JK Rowling's campaign for Labour Party Commissioner in which she blared "Hedwig's Theme", said she was "exercising her religious freedom" and that she was "casting a white magick spell" to protect her home from intruders.

A terrified tenant called the Met Police when she saw a giant spider at the top of her stairwell. She reportedly said that she would have much rather preferred a "giant butterfly" so she could "fly away to Universal Orlando on her own terms".

Slytherin Park guests have reported an increased sighting in giant tarantulas, notably after the THC took effect.

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