Ope-Ed: Satan's Home Still Not Inclusive Enough, Abraham Up in Arms Over Signed Contract

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This excerpt from "Good and Evil: I Don't Matter" is now available in stores all over Hell. Heaven has respectfully declined the love of all money, which they say is somehow evil even though we really don't agree with that!

Bezelbub - Lately our favorite movie star ever, Lucifer, has been complaining of exclusionary behaviors from goodie picture perfect Christians over there out there getting stocking stuffers this past December 6th...

Well all we ever wanted was friendship and you precious "angels" over there had to ruin our lives for no reason. You won't even give us the choice on whether or not Satan deserves friends or not!

And now the Hitler youth is complaining that they did everything Allah asked and yet St. Peter is still considering sending them here. You can't just force a covenant between God and Abraham like that, some people might not agree! Free will is for losers, I wanna know when we get to hang out with Jeff and Shaleia, they're so hip!

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