North Pole Workplace Policy Changes: Elves Who Say "Same to You" Face Possible Reprimandation

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In an open letter to the workers making sure all the goodie two-shoes "boys and girls" (unless they're trans, BIGOTS) get boring presents instead of really cool coal this year (Satan's favorite, we don't judge!), elven workers were instructed to "stop being so PC" (ew, that's for fascists) and if someone says "Merry Christmas" to them, that phrases like "Seasons Greetings to you too!" and "Thanks! Happy Holidays" will result in a discussion with their boss, Santa Claus himself.

The decision came after Mrs. Claus said to her husband one Christmas Eve before departure,

"I love my Jewish brothers and sisters too...normally I just tell them 'Happy Hannukah' even though we bring Christmas joy. It won't kill me, would it kill you to reference their holiday? It's more personal and shows thought and care to someone who might not believe the same way good little Christian boys and girls do."

I thought she was a rotten white supremacist. And she didn't get fired? What a Grinch!

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