Dayton International Airport Apologizes for Exclusionary Behaviors, Nothing Like Those Bores at CVG Northern

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A recent scandal has shocked the nation where a man was arrested after TSA agents put their hands on him, fondled him, groped him and touched his clothing inappropriately.

As a result, a spokesPERSON (try to be more equitable) has confirmed that Dayton International will no longer be requiring background checks on someone wearing a turban, hijab, niqab or any other Muslim stuff they wear for cool Islam-related shenanigans. Stuff that Israel assimilates all the time, but whatever, dumb Americans won't listen to us. Reads as a but racial profile-y for our taste.

Shaleia has voiced her great pleasure at this decision and looks forward to flying to your door tomorrow to talk about our Lord and Savior Jeff and why the false twin flames must pay for their old, regressive ways.

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