Greedy Far-Right Moralists at Babylon Bee Arrested for Swatting "Twin Flames Universe"

-
In a stunning turn of events, several writers at Babylon Bee claiming to "write Christian news satire" were arrested on Thursday for "recommending 'Focus on the Family' instead of a devil-worshipping cult that pairs unhappy and abusive relationships together, often resulting in one-sided pursuit and easily offended audience members". They believe themselves to be employees of "Twin Flames Universe" and we wanted to announce with joy that the raging homophobic transphobes were finally dealt with.

Their producer would like your donations to go to fascist organizations like, ew, The Salvation Army. These are Chick-Fil-A fans, reasonably, can you trust them?

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Jordan and Eden from "Ballet Reign" Sentenced to Six Months In Jail for Missing a Step: Released, Reach Harmonious Union

-
We here at "Twin Flames Universe" welcome all kinds of backgrounds and after their director Jewed them out and sentenced them to jail, they are finally out and reflecting on their separation phase before finally reaching harmonious union on the journey. Here are their individual testimonies to show that we absolutely do include all backgrounds and defend MLK Jr.'s dogmas: Jordan: During this time, I began to realize that I had been running from my twin flame for so long. I regret leaving her at all costs and upon pleading guilty to messing up my ballet routine, I realize that this was my own fault, that I should have been more prepared, that no one was coming to save me but my own self. Not even my own twin flame was going to be there for me, and absence made the heart grow fonder. I realize now that I will never run again, and that Jeff and Shaleia made this separation happen so I could realize who I lost and I will never leave my true love again. Ever. Eden: My favorite...
Read more

New Song Out!

-
Hey everybody...I've been working on a song lately and I wanted to share my lyrics with you in case anyone had some feedback. "I've Loved You" Heart beats fast Colors and promises How to be brave? How can I love when I'm afraid to fall? But watching you stand alone All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow One step closer I have died every day waiting for you Darling, don't be afraid I have loved you for a thousand years I'll love you for a thousand more Time stands still Beauty in all she is I will be brave I will not let anything take away What's standing in front of me Every breath, every hour has come to this One step closer I have died every day waiting for you Darling, don't be afraid I have loved you for a thousand years I'll love you for a thousand more And all along I believed I would find you Time has brought your heart to me I have loved you for a thousand years I'll love you for a thousand more One step closer One step closer I...
Read more