Beloved Comedian Wanted for Reparations

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A comedian named Eden is wanted by police for absconding after owing the Palestinians millions in reparations and friendship for all the apartheid he supports.

We thought we would take it upon ourselves to take after what Nelson Mandela truly wanted, and that means only rooting for Ohio University.

That whole rivalry with OSU and Michigan accomplished nothing but further divide and fueled chaos to a peaceful and harmonious union.

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