Female Copping 101

Okay ladies, here is your briefing in the form of a PSA. Here is a list of guidelines when going out in the field and handling male suspects.

1. If the matter is a traffic stop and you pull over a lady, ask for her license and registration. Don't issue her a warning, what men say about female drivers is sexist, even if you had probable cause to pull her over. If the driver is male, draw out your guns immediately. Assume he is reaching into his glove compartment for the nearest pair of gloves so he can grope you inappropriately. Men cannot be trusted behind the wheel.

2. If the matter involves the executive order deporting any Mexicans home for simply turning left just a little bit, free the mothers and children, don't let them end up in cages and give them Taco Bell. If the immigrant is male, send him to Sudan immediately.

3. Let's say you are surveying a scene of the crime and you are looking for evidence and a bystander attempts repeatedly to intervene with the investigation. If the suspect is female, realize she's on her period and that she is going through a hard time. Give her a tamp and don't charge her. If he's male, sentence him 15 years in prison for obstruction of justice.

4. If the operation involves substance use like drugs and the criminal tweaking on the side of the road is woman, get her rehab and all the therapy she needs. Unlimited narcan completely funded by taxpayers, Americans love helping those in need and shalt not be so greedy. If the drug addict is male, film his relapse, post in on social media for all your Facebook friends to laugh at before due process is complete and say comments like "Yass queen he too broke for you." Arrest him and deny him therapeutic resources while he's in jail for 30 years. He needs to learn to get his own job.

5. When handling sex trafficking rings, it's important to remember that you are handling sexual abuse survivors in the mix. If the suspect is male, he's the pimp always. A woman is never a pimp, she's just expressing her opinions on social media. She is empowering herself by choosing a lifestyle that fits her level of self-expression, never making a passionate declare of love for Sean Diddy and comments insinuating she likes that kind of attention are hurtful towards survivors. Men cannot be exploited, they are always bug-eyed and staring. Assume that if a man is trying to complain that he is not "asking for it" that he is out of line because he is white.