New Executive Orders, Trump Realizes He's Female

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Since Trump's 100 days in office, many executive orders have changed the lives of Americans, prompting mass evacuations, deportations, and lots and lots of right-wing fascism for your viewing pleasure, ladies and gentlemen!


In a recent shocking turn of events, Trump signed an executive order mandating that all gay men thirty and up will be required to pass a series of tests to prove that they are "really gay" before marrying the same sex under federal law. In a mandatory press conference, Trump stated the following to NBC news:

"I will sign an executive order requiring all same sex couples to prove their LGBT membership by being as openly gay as possible, including at theme parks, churches, synagogues, and Wiccan temples. Then and only then will they be allowed to marry. Also I'm coming out as a trans woman. Anyone who disagrees with me is a transphobic trans person."

Other recent orders include changing the annual holiday "Memorial Day" to "National Punch a Nazi Day".

"I will sign an executive order requiring all public and private establishments referring to this day as 'Memorial Day' to change the name before sundown to 'National Punch a Nazi Day'. Once a year, it is completely legal to grab the nearest person who doesn't agree with you on politics, especially the trans community, and give them an old-fashioned 1950s handshake, in other words, a knuckle sandwich. Give your all."

After making this televised announcement which you can find on all news outlets, we absolutely assure you, Trump considered a detransition.

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