Day of Rest Declared Weekly For All Corporations

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Last Thursday, Mein Fuhrer Donald Trump signed an executive order declaring that all business will be closed on Sunday.

"As a man called by God, we need to remember that America was founded in Christianity. I will write and approve an executive order declaring all businesses cease creating products to sell from sunrise to sundown on all American Sundays henceforth."

Lately an unmentionable has remained open from 12-6. We are still handling this one.

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