FROM THE ARCHIVES: Strange Man Talks to Bushes on Fire, Invades and Pillages Muslim Children with Two Boulders

Brethren: Here ye I say to you there breatheth a new narrative to be unequally heard to a select pair of ears

Shepherds in an oasis were gathering and watching their flock by day and night when lo and behold a strange neighbor appeared, and they were very warm and welcoming. This man called himself Moses, took himself a wife without her knowledge and said to the people,

"If we bear false witness enough times even on the side of good, we can convince the Egyptian government that they are oppressing and persecuting us and do much false witness to our neighbors. We shall call this false God Hashem, deny the existence of the Egyptians and overtake their land and stay there. Then force thy Egyptian brethren to leave at once!"

And then the people heard and they were in awe and said, "Let us join you in pillaging these Egyptians. That is, if they do not first catch plague. Shall we pray for them to catch such illness? Would it be blasphemy against the Gods to wish such harm on our enemies?"

And one of them heard, and it was done tenfold according to the High Priestess. And then we called it Passover because one's emotions was not regarded over and the people passed over the easily grieved and shooketh.