How to Hoover Your Twin Flame But Be Cute About It

Have you been shunned by your friends because you're "too nerdy" for your true twin flame? Here's how to get back together with them and enter the harmonious union stage.

1. Get triggered on purpose and convince other people you are suffering a genuine offense. This will trigger your twin flame's hero instinct to want to rescue you from transphobic and racist peril.

2. Call for Annoying Orange's death on Twitter. Yup, the cult of Trump can die Jonestown style. It's not "violent" if peacefully inciting assassination!

3. Attack your true twin flame's friends' and family's reputation. This will convince the other half to leave them behind forever and realize the err of their ways, that twin flames aren't delusional and those who accuse them of that are just evil narcissists dismissing the truth. The ADL can't do anything about it if other people think you're hilarious.

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