Alan: Don't Be a Soldier-Hating Vet Person

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It's time we unmask what the A in RAZZLE was really doing in the bushes with his four kids...

First of all, there were several big allyship mistakes.

1. He went bald and shaved his head. Never trust someone bald. Those kinds of veterans are particularly scary. Can we say, 2007 Britney much?

2. He was a veteran to begin with. No more war, we can't resist anymore. It's not safe. How do we know he doesn't have a bargirl on the side? It's not like he told the fans about anything outside the marriage? He never came out as polyamorous...reads as a bit dishonest...totally carries Pinkerton energy.

3. Gets a little obsessive when watching OnePiece. In cosplay? Wearing facepaint? Face paint is for girls, boys shouldn't do stuff like that. Don't say I didn't warn any Asian American college communities...this one is particularly frightening. He just dons Luffy's straw hat to look cool and fuel Ryan's voyeurism. Who are the straw hat pirates again? Wasn't paying attention over the sound of my awesome TikTok. I got a whole stream planned on 9/17/2025, you guys should totally check it out. Still going swimmingly as planned!

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